Peggle Fever

Hi, folks! Today I’d like to talk to a little-appreciated element of games known as the aspect ratio!

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What’s the aspect ratio, I magically hear some of you ask? Here’s what it isn’t; it’s not a gelatin food made of low-frequency electromagnetic waves. No, that would be radio aspic. Far too many designers have failed to make the proper distinction between the two, resulting in messy game experiences that are almost impossible to get out of the upholstery.

Simply put, the aspect ratio is the ratio between the aspects of the game. “But Bjorn,” the sharper readers cry, “that’s no definition, it’s simply a restatement of the term you’re attempting to define!” Good work, sharper readers. You’re very clever, calling me out on my sloppy definitions. Have a cupcake or something to celebrate.

The aspects of the game, in this context, are basically just the width and height of the game screen. The aspect ratio is the ratio between them. So if the width is greater than the height, then the screen is short and fat (some call this “landscape” format), and if the width is less than the height, then the screen is tall and thin (those same folks would call this “portrait” format). If the width and the height are the same, friends, then you are going to have to face the reality that your game screen is, in fact, square.

Different aspect ratios can have a subtle impact on the look and feel of a game. A wide, flat screen can give a great sense of open space to a game where you run along the ground, but would be pure poop for a game that involved a lot of climbing. A tall thin screen, meanwhile, doesn’t work for anything unless you’re developing games for the iPhone, and who would be crazy enough to do that?

Hi, folks! It’s been an intensely snowy few days here at the Institute, and we’re still clearing it all away!

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Generally speaking, we don’t get a lot of snow around here. Oh, we have weather, don’t doubt it, but it tends to take more prosaic forms like boiling pitch erupting from the ground, or pieces of starstuff tumbling from the heavens, all very normal and easy to handle as a rule.

Snow, however, confounds all our usual weather-dealing protocols. It’s a solid and a liquid at the same time. It’s cold, but it’s also white. It’s utterly silent, but it makes loud crunching noises under one’s hooves as one trots. Puzzling and perplexing!

We had a week of it, scratching our brains trying to figure out just how to dispose of the unexpected dump. Eventually, and I have to give you humans credit for this, we were able to get ahold of a few marvelous devices you call “shovels,” and thusly armed we were able to clear a path from the front door to, well, the back door. Hey, it’s a start!

Hi, folks! One of my favorite things about this time of year is how abominably dark it gets. And so quickly, too!

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Most folks, perhaps you included, tend towards the sunnier, more summertime stretches of the year when light and warmth prevail, good times are abundant, camping trips are feasible and you can see your hoof in front of your face after 4 o’clock in the afternoon. But I (as should be abundantly clear by now, faithful readers) am not most folks!

No, friends, no. The dark, gloomy state of things is where I flourish. Who needs happiness and sunshine? Not this intense and stalwart unicorn! Brooding blackness and overcast lightlessness suit me just fine! For in these conditions, other senses come to the fore. Toddies taste tarter. Smores smell smellier. Sounds are more audible and pain is more painful! Bring it on, I say!

Oof! Ow! Dammit, who left this chair… okay, you know what, folks? Forget everything I just said. Bring back the light! Return to us, Mr. Sun!

Hi, folks! I’m told you in the part of the human world known as “The States” have just completed a quaint celebration known as “Thanksgiving.” In the fading spirit of this holiday, then, I asked the Masters to compile a list of all the things for which they are thankful!

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Marina Squid: “I’m thankful for this HUUUUUGE bucket of oysters I’ve got right in front of me, so if you’ll excuse me I’m going to start stuffing myself with them right now!”

Lord Cinderbottom: “Of all the elements I enjoy, it is oxygen, with its attendant fire-enabling properties, that I find most pleasing, and indeed, pleasurable.”

Warren Rabbit: “Right now, let me tell you, I am very, very thankful the owners of the Heaviside Casino were so understanding about our little misunderstanding, because I really like having the use of my arms, legs and teeth.”

Tula Sunflower: “Thankful? Where to begin? I’m thankful for the sun and the Moon and the air and the sky and the rain and the sky and the soil and I mentioned the sky, didn’t I? The sky is really good!”

Claude Lobster: “Ah, oui! I thank you all for the memories, most pungent and vibrant, the remembrances of all of our times together flipping ze Flippers, pitching ze Peggle ball back and forth for hours on ends. Such glories, they make me to weep!”

Splork Sporkan: “Borp! Fullreach of cosmotic expansion gives great happiness to myself, so thanksgiving is given at this time plus others!”

Renfield Pumpkin: “I’m just happy I managed to dodge the annual pumpkin pie carnage for another year! It was a close thing!”

Master Hu: “Ommm… the eternal balance of yin to yang brings peace to this owl, for otherwise stuff would get majorly goofy.”

Kat Tut: “Yarn! Yarn yarn yarn! Yarn and naps! Naps! And Peggle! Peggle, yarn and naps are things I’m grateful for! Meow!”

Jimmy Lightning: “Dude, radical! I am so pumped about stuff! Things are tubular to the max… and beyond!!! What was the question?”

Ah, Jimmy… you always know just what to say. And for me? What is the thing for which I, Bjorn Unicorn, Headmaster of the Peggle Institute, am most thankful? Why, that this week’s blog is finished, of course!

Hi, folks! In our never-ending quest to improve and expand Peggle in every way imaginable, we interviewed a group of new Peggle Master hopefuls this morning!

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First I got a chance to chat with Shelly, a lovely young turtle who’s been working hard on her new Slomo power. When activated, the Slomo makes the Peggle ball move verrrrrrrrrry slowly. I tried it, and it was dizzying! I’ve seen some moving things and some motionless things, but I’ve never seen a thing that was so close to being both at the same time!

After Shelly we had Beezus drop by. He’s a smartly-dressed bee whose BuzzBomb power causes the ball to emit an ear-piercing sound for as long as it’s in the air. It’s really loud! After just a few shots I had to jam pencils in my ears to deafen myself!

Edgar, of course, is a jolly, underweight elephant. I’m really excited about his Nutzo power, which causes the ball to temporarily swap places with a peanut held in an alternate dimension. Incredible! Watching the transposition take place was definitely one of the most affecting, spiritual moments of my life.

And finally, we squeezed in just enough time to evaluate Hormel, an irascible porcupine with a taste for adventure. His power, the Fourier Transform, decomposes any function into its oscillatory functions! I’ve never realized the value of converting a complex-valued function of a real variable into another before, but now that I’ve seen it, the possibilities are endless!