‘Allo, my friends! Our honorable M’sieu Bjorn Unicorn is ill this week with coughing and sneezing and beaucoup snoutfuls of mucous, so I, Claude Lobster, shall step in on ‘is behalf!

Ah, mes amis, it has been too long since last we spoke. Indeed, we have never spoken. Only in dreams have we laughed and cried and shared cheese as old friends, observing the daily bijou-bijou of passersby as we sip the finest wines at the Souliers Blanc on Rue Faraday. Ah, such memories, they bring two tears each to these Parisian eyeballs.

Even now I think back to the time we did not spend a magical afternoon at the Louvre, reveling in the supreme, timeless beauty of the Moaning Lisa, the Venus de High-Low, the Craft of Medusa and of course, the special on the menu whiteboard in the cafeteria. Chicken a la king, I believe it was. So delicieux.

‘Ave I mentioned zat we are very close to providing Peggle Nights to you ‘umans who use the… ‘ow do you say… Xbox Live Arcade gaming system? Zat mere days or weeks or on the outside months are all zat remain? I have. I remember now.

I fear I must leave you now, mes copains, for in the distance, undimmed through time, I hear the call of a croissant uneaten. I must answer. I must away! Adieu, fair friends!

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