Be greeted, Earthan humans! Splork Sporkan types letters into words you are now reading for fun and furious fulfillment!
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Information has reached Splorkan eyeholes of human search for “Higgs Boson.” Earthan science-mongers predict soon discovery of mystery god particle for making of mass!
Disappointment is sad to give, but I must inform all search is misguided. Higgs Boson is Biggs Bogus! Poopier theorized particle has not been invented in some timespan. Scalar gauge field to impart mass reveals flaws of majority in hu-man thinkings on overall subject. Splorkan science-flingers make key discoveries in previous illusion of time, not human fault to fail to stumble yet on correctness.
Not to be feared, however! Borp! Splork is happy to render insights on matter. Hah-hah! A pun was just made, are you aware while reading? Use of the term “matter” in referring to nature of material substance? Hah-ahah-hah! I am laughing again with intense gusto at emitted drollery.
But in all intention, matter inertially resists pushing-on through liquescent retarded and advanced gravity wavings propagating backforth on double dimensions of time. Sipmlicity is embodied in concept, once understood! Good night to you!