A Trillion Apologies

Hi, folks! As you’ve no doubt noticed, this blog went without updates for two weeks straight with no explanation. According to Peggle custom, I now owe you all a trillion apologies. So, with no additional ado, let’s begin! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry

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sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry… how many is that? 71? And how many to go? 999999999929 sorries? Yikes!

 

Well, I owe you each and every one of those apologies, but I don’t want to waste your time, so how about we do this: I’ll say “sorry” a thousand times, and each time I say the thousandth “sorry” I’ll type “ksorry” to represent those thousand sorries, just because I know how much you humans love using letters as numbers! Deal? All righty, then!

 

Ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry ksorry huff puff puff puff puff… breeeeeeathe, Bjorn, breathe. Where are we at? Ninety-six thousand, seventy-one sorries? With nine hundred and ninety-nine billion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and three million, nine hundred and twenty-nine sorries still to come?

 

Really? We’re only 0.0000096071 percent into this apology? But it’s already lunchtime!

 

Hmmm… well, I hate to do it, but it’s time to bring in the big guns. I’ll say “sorry” a million times, and on each millionth sorry I’ll type an “msorry,” just to speed things along for you, the alert and time-sensitive reader. Here we go!

 

Msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry msorry!

 

Yeah! NOW we’re making progress! We’re all the way up to 200,096,071 sorries! And with a mere 999,799,903,929 left to go, we’re a whopping… how much… let me check my numbers… carry the ten… we’re a whopping… a whopping… um… whopping… we’re… hmmm… we’re just past the 0.02% mark.

Please understand. I am very sorry for missing those blog updates. But *being* sorry just won’t cut it; I have to say just how sorry I am. I am, however, starting to appreciate why our Peggle custom of offering a trillion apologies is a custom observed more in the breach than the follow-through.

 

Nonetheless! I am very sorry, so I’ll say I’m sorry a *thousand million times* before typing, let’s say, “mksorry,” and we’ll get through this together! What do you say?

 

Mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry mksorry pant pant wheeeeeze huff puff gasp I think I need a glass of water.

 

We must be close to done now, right? Let me check my figures… five hundred billion, two hundred million, ninety-six thousand and seventy-one sorries? Just past half way? I’m not sure if I’m much more sorry than this, dammit!

 

No, no, I apologize, dear readers (for getting upset just then, mind, as opposed to being late on the blog). I let my emotions get the better of me. True, I’ve been trapped in the sorry cube saying sorry for many times longer than the length of time your universe has existed, but I insist I’m going to see this through. But let’s wrap it up with another four hundred and ninety-nine billion, seven hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and three thousand, nine hundred and twenty sorries you’re just going to assume I said. That leaves… let’s see, subtract one, carry the 799,903,920, ummm… just nine more sorries! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…

 

You know what? Now I think about it, I’m not that sorry after all. I was busy!

 

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