Ha! The halfwit Bjorn left his computer unattended! Thus it is I, Fnord Unicorn, Chief Academician of the Peggle Academy, who posts this day!
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Bjorn Unicorn paints an appealing picture to you humans. He represents himself as a wise and friendly scholar, interested only in truth and the Peggle way. He speaks as though his “professors” were the best in the land. He makes it out as though his “Peggle Institute” was the only institution of higher Peggle learning.
He lies!
My own Peggle Academy is far greater in reach and scope than his pathetic little college. Our resources are grander. Our ambition is huger. Our tuition fees are cheaper.
Our vision of Peggle encompasses far more than his tiny morality can apprehend. Where he only seeks to promote Peggle as a way to goodness, we embrace Peggle as the path to power. Peggle is no joyful diversion, no easy fun. For the student who dares, the dark arts of Peggle open the door to total domination and absolute control.
Bjorn is weak, weak and a fool. Consider the rabble he employs as his “faculty.” A stupider, smellier, less competent riffraff of morons you will never find, not even in your own universe. He actually has a pumpkin teaching classes. A pumpkin! A pungent food, not fit even to appear in our cafeteria, is accorded honor and respect in his drab little seminary. It is an abomination!
Some may say our approach at the Peggle Academy is repellent. They call us “evil.” They point at my eyepatch and mighty beard as proof of our malevolence. To those I say, “Silence, fools!” Evil is in the eyepatch of the beholder.
Come to us, Peggle players. Give in to the darkness within you. Enroll at the Peggle Academy today!